“Where do you think you’re going?!” Viktor blocked his wife’s path. “And who is going to look after my mother? I don’t have time.” Ludmila was standing in the entryway with a suitcase when Viktor suddenly appeared in front of the door, spreading his arms as though he had been crucified on the invisible cross of his own selfishness. His face twisted into an indignant grimace she had seen far too often over the past three years.
“Where do you think you’re going?!” her husband’s voice rose to a shriek. “And who is going to look after my mother? I DON’T HAVE TIME!”
Ludmila slowly lowered the suitcase to the floor. A lump of resentment mixed with exhaustion lodged in her throat. Three years. For three damned years, she had been torn between her job at a scientific research institute and caring for Antonina Petrovna, who required constant supervision after suffering a stroke.
“Viktor, I told you a week ago. And the day before yesterday. And yesterday morning,” Ludmila said, her voice trembling with suppressed emotion. “I have a biochemistry conference in Kazan. It’s important for my dissertation…”
“Your dissertation!” Viktor snorted so forcefully that droplets of saliva landed on her face. “Who needs your dissertation? My mother is bedridden and needs care every two hours—medication, treatments, turning her over, washing her. Don’t you understand?”
“I understand EVERYTHING!” Ludmila suddenly felt something hot and furious beginning to boil inside her. “I’ve been doing it for YEARS! YEARS, Viktor! And where have you been? Where is your brother Pavel? Where is his wife Marina, who manages a store and can afford to take time off?”
“Don’t you dare drag my brother into this! He has a business, understand? A BUSINESS! And Marina has an important position. Not like you and your test tubes!”
Ludmila closed her eyes, trying to calm the trembling in her hands. She remembered how, as a child, she had spent months caring for her grandmother Vera, whom her father had brought from the village. Ludmila had been only twelve, but she had managed. She fed her grandmother with a spoon, changed her diapers and read old novels aloud to her. But back then, they had lived in the same house. Ludmila had not been forced to travel across the entire city every day after work.
“Viktor, listen to me carefully,” Ludmila said calmly. “I warned you in advance. You nodded, so I assumed you would make arrangements with Pavel or Marina. It’s only for three days!” “What gave you that idea? I simply didn’t want to argue with you! I thought you would come to your senses and understand that family is more important!”
“Family? Am I not part of the family? Is my career, my future, not important?”
“What career? You’re a woman! Your job is to take care of the family!”
Ludmila remembered the diploma with honors she had so proudly shown Viktor six years earlier, when they had just gotten married. She remembered how he had kissed her and said that he was proud to have such an intelligent wife.
Where had all of that gone?
“You know what, Viktor?” Ludmila picked up her suitcase. “I’m going. This conference is important to me. To MY life.”
“You wouldn’t dare!” Viktor seized her arm, squeezing it so tightly that it hurt. “I forbid you to go!”
“YOU FORBID ME?!” Ludmila shouted. “Who do you think you are to forbid me from doing anything? I’m not your property!”
“You’re my wife! You have to obey me!”
“Go to hell!” Ludmila cried, wrenching her arm free. “I’ve been destroying my career all these years while caring for YOUR mother, while you and your precious brother pretend it has nothing to do with you!”
“Don’t you dare talk like that! We have jobs!”
“And you think I don’t work? I get up at six in the morning, travel across the entire city to the institute, then go to your mother’s and finally return home around midnight! When am I supposed to live? When am I supposed to do my scientific work?”
Viktor remained silent, glaring at her from beneath lowered brows. Confusion was written in his eyes. He had clearly not expected her to fight back. He was accustomed to Ludmila always giving in and always finding a compromise.
“We’ll talk when you get back,” he hissed through clenched teeth.
“NO!” Ludmila stamped her foot. “We’re going to talk now! I’m tired of being a servant! I’m tired of nobody caring about my interests!”
“You’re exaggerat—” Viktor began, but Ludmila interrupted him.
“SHUT UP! Just shut up and listen! When your mother first became ill, I was the first person to offer to help. But I never imagined I would be doing it ALONE! Where are all of you? Where is your wonderful brother Pavel, who goes fishing every weekend? Where is Marina with her flexible schedule?”
“They have their own lives…”
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“And I DON’T have a life?!” Angry tears streamed down Ludmila’s cheeks. “My academic supervisor has already warned me twice that if I don’t present my research results at this conference, I’ll be expelled from the postgraduate program! Do you understand? EXPELLED!”
“So what? You’ll find another job. You could teach chemistry at a school…”
“At a school?!” Ludmila laughed hysterically. “I studied for five years, graduated with honors and have spent three years conducting research, and you’re suggesting that I go work at a school?”
“What’s wrong with that? It’s a perfectly normal job for a woman. And you would have more time for the family.”
“What family, Viktor? The one where I’m an unpaid caregiver and housekeeper? The one where nobody cares about my dreams or ambitions?” Viktor opened his mouth to say something, but Ludmila was no longer listening. She turned sharply and walked into her mother-in-law’s bedroom.
Antonina Petrovna lay in bed with her head turned toward the door. There was understanding in her eyes. She had heard everything.
“Antonina Petrovna,” Ludmila said, sitting on the edge of the bed, “I’m sorry this has happened. I need to leave for three days. It’s extremely important for my work.”
The woman slowly lifted a trembling hand and stroked Ludmila’s cheek. Then, with difficulty but clearly, she said:
“Go, my dear. You must go.”
“Mom!” Viktor burst into the room. “What are you saying? Who is going to look after you?” Antonina Petrovna turned her gaze toward her son. Something hard and unyielding appeared in her eyes.
“You… or Pavlik… Stop… tormenting the girl…”
“But Mom, we have jobs!”
“And Luda… has a job…” The woman began to cough but stubbornly continued. “You should be ashamed… You are her sons… yet your daughter-in-law… takes care of me…”
“Mom, you don’t understand…”
“I understand… EVERYTHING!” Antonina Petrovna said with unexpected strength. “Ludochka… go! That is… an order!”
Ludmila kissed her mother-in-law’s wrinkled cheek and quickly left the room. Viktor rushed after her. “You deliberately turned her against me!”
“I’ve never spoken to her about this before. She sees and understands everything herself. Unlike you!”
Ludmila picked up her suitcase and headed toward the door. Viktor attempted to block her path again.
“GET OUT of my way!” Ludmila screamed so loudly that Viktor involuntarily stepped back. “Or I’ll make such a scene that the neighbors will call the police!”
“You… You’ve completely lost your mind!”
“YES! I have! Your rudeness and shamelessness have driven me insane! I’ve been destroying myself for three years for the sake of your family, and all I get in return are complaints and accusations!”
“If you leave now…”
“What? WHAT are you going to do? Divorce me? Be my guest! It would be the best thing you’ve done in years!”
Viktor froze in astonishment. He had clearly not expected the argument to take this turn. Taking advantage of his confusion, Ludmila rushed through the door and slammed it loudly behind her.
Once she was in the taxi on her way to the airport, she took out her phone and called Marina, Pavel’s wife. “Marina? It’s Ludmila. I’m leaving for a three-day conference. Antonina Petrovna is now Viktor and Pavel’s responsibility. The list of medications is on the bedside table. You know her schedule.”
“What? But… Ludmila, wait…”
“That’s all, Marina. I carried this burden alone for three years. Now it’s your turn. Let the men take care of their own mother.”
She ended the call without listening to Marina’s indignant shouting.
Ludmila felt frightened and light at the same time. She was frightened by the uncertainty. What would happen when she returned? Yet she also felt lighter because she had finally said everything that had been building up inside her.
The conference went brilliantly. Ludmila presented the results of her research into new methods for synthesizing organic compounds, and they caused a genuine sensation. Professor Arkhipov from Moscow State University even offered her a position in his laboratory after she defended her dissertation.
For three days, she lived a genuine scientific life. She spoke with colleagues, discussed the prospects of future research and felt like a human being rather than an unpaid caregiver.
Viktor called constantly, but she did not answer. He sent messages, but she did not read them. On the second day of the conference, Pavel called her. “Ludmila, this is outrageous! Marina refuses to stay with Mom! She says she has to work!”
“And you think I don’t have a job?”
“But you always…”
“Exactly—I ALWAYS did it! But now I WON’T! Take care of your own mother!”
“How dare you…”
“I DARE! And you know what, Pavel? Tell your brother to start looking for somewhere else to live. I’m not going back to that miserable rented apartment!”
“Have you lost your mind?”
“Yes! I have! I’ve finally lost it! I tolerated your rudeness for three years, but now I’ve had ENOUGH!”
She ended the call and blocked his number as well. Then she called her friend Irina, who had been offering her a place to stay for a long time.
“Ira, could I stay with you for a couple of weeks? I think I’m getting divorced.”
“Luda! Finally! Of course you can come! I’ve told you a hundred times to leave that parasite!”
After the conference, Ludmila did not return to the rented apartment she had shared with Viktor. She collected her belongings from the luggage storage facility at the railway station—she had prudently packed her essentials in advance—and went to Irina’s home.
The following day, she hired a courier and sent Viktor the divorce papers.
Viktor received the envelope that evening. He had just returned from his mother’s apartment, exhausted and angry. Caring for her for two days had turned out to be genuine torture. Medication every two hours, changing diapers, feeding her, washing her…
How had Ludmila managed to do it for three years?
Pavel was also at the end of his rope. Marina had caused an enormous scene when he asked her to stay with his mother for just a couple of hours.
“WHAT, was I hired to look after your mother?” Marina screamed so loudly that the entire apartment building could hear her. “Ludmila was a fool for agreeing to it! But I’m NOT A FOOL!”
“But Marina, she’s my mother…”
“Then take care of her YOURSELF! Or hire a caregiver! I have a job, in case you’ve forgotten!”
“But you have a flexible schedule…”
“SO WHAT? Does that mean I have to work as an unpaid caregiver? Go to hell, Pavel! Ask me one more time and I’ll file for divorce too! Just like Ludmila!”
Pavel stared at his wife in shock. Marina had never mentioned divorce before. However, there was such determination in her eyes that he realized these were not empty threats.
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When Viktor opened the envelope and saw the divorce petition, his legs nearly gave way. He sank heavily onto the sofa, reading the document over and over again.
Ludmila was requesting a divorce on the grounds that continuing their married life had become impossible. She made no claims against their property. There was nothing to divide anyway. Their apartment was rented, they had no car and they had no savings.
A month passed.
Viktor and Pavel hired a professional caregiver. It cost them half of their combined income, but they had no alternative. Following their argument, Marina pointedly ignored every request her husband made concerning his mother.
The brothers moved into Antonina Petrovna’s apartment. It was more convenient and cheaper than continuing to pay rent elsewhere.
Viktor tried to find Ludmila, but she seemed to have vanished. At her workplace, he was told that she had taken unpaid leave. His number had been blocked. They had almost no mutual friends because Viktor had never shown any interest in her social circle.
Then, one day, he encountered her by accident.
She was sitting in a café near the university with a gray-haired man, animatedly discussing something. Charts and diagrams were spread across the table.
She looked… happy.
Viktor had not seen her like that in a very long time. Her eyes sparkled, there was color in her cheeks, and she gestured enthusiastically as she explained something to the man sitting across from her.
Viktor approached their table.
“Ludmila…”
She looked up at him. There was neither anger nor resentment in her eyes.
“Hello, Viktor.”
“We need to talk.”
“No, we don’t. Everything that needed to be said was delivered to you by courier.”
“Luda, let’s try to fix everything…”
“Fix it?” She smiled sadly. “Viktor, it’s already too late. I’ve signed a contract with Moscow State University. After I defend my dissertation, I’m moving to Moscow. Professor Arkhipov”—she nodded toward her companion—“has offered me a position in his laboratory.”
“But… what about us? Our family?”
“What family, Viktor? The one where I was an unpaid servant? The one where nobody cared about my dreams and aspirations?”
“I was wrong…”
“YES, you were wrong! But that isn’t the only problem. You showed me your true face. To you, I’m not a partner or a human being. I’m a function. I’m supposed to provide care, serve you and remain silent. I’m sorry, but that isn’t the life I want.”
“What about my mother?”
“Your mother has two sons. Let them take care of her. By the way, tell Antonina Petrovna that I remember her and wish her good health. She’s a good woman. Unfortunately, she raised two selfish sons.”
Viktor was about to object, but Professor Arkhipov rose from the table.
“Ludmila Sergeyevna, we need to go. The department meeting begins in half an hour.”
“Yes, of course.”
She gathered her papers and stood. Viktor seized her arm.
“Ludmila, please…”
“LET GO OF ME!” She yanked her arm free. “And stop trying to find me. It’s over, Viktor. You made this choice yourself when you decided that my life was less important than your convenience.”
She turned and walked away, leaving Viktor standing in the middle of the café. The people sitting at the surrounding tables glanced at him curiously.
He slowly wandered toward the exit, realizing that he had perhaps lost the most valuable person in his life.
And he had lost her because of his own stupidity and selfishness.
Pavel was waiting for him at home, looking as gloomy as a storm cloud.
“Marina has filed for divorce,” he announced without any preamble. “She says she doesn’t want to share Ludmila’s fate. She thinks I’ll turn her into an unpaid caregiver for our mother.”
Without saying anything, Viktor poured himself a glass of vodka and swallowed it in one gulp.
“I saw Ludmila. She’s moving to Moscow. Permanently.”
“Damn it!” Pavel cursed. “What are we supposed to do now?”
“Live,” Viktor answered wearily. “Live with the consequences of our selfishness. It’s our own fault, Pavel. We believed women were obligated to serve us. But it turns out they’re human beings too. They have their own dreams, plans and ambitions.”
“To hell with all of this!” Pavel poured himself some vodka as well. “Maybe Marina will come to her senses…”
“She won’t,” Viktor said, shaking his head. “She and Ludmila are right. We treated them like servants. And when the servants rebelled, we didn’t know what to do. Now we’ve received exactly what we deserved.” Their mother called from the other room. The brothers looked at each other.
“It’s your turn,” Pavel said.
“No, it’s yours. I went in this morning.”
“What difference does it make? Let’s go together.”
They got up and went to their mother.
They were two grown men—successful and self-satisfied—who were only now beginning to understand the true cost of caring for a loved one.
But it was already too late.
Their wives had left, abandoning them to face their own selfishness and their sick mother.
Meanwhile, Ludmila was sitting aboard a plane bound for Moscow, feeling free.
Free from other people’s expectations, from duties that had been forced upon her and from the role of an unpaid servant.
A new life awaited her—a life filled with science, work she loved and people who valued her as an individual rather than as a function.
It was a little frightening to begin again at the age of thirty-two, but it was her choice.
And she regretted nothing.
Her phone vibrated. A message had arrived from Antonina Petrovna, sent with the assistance of a neighbor:
“Ludochka, be happy. Forgive my foolish sons. You did the right thing. Live your own life!”
Ludmila smiled and switched off her phone.
The past had been left behind.
Only the future lay ahead.